Attachment science · Gottman method

Attune

Say it so they can actually hear it.

Attune learns how you and the people who matter most—your partner, your family, your closest friends—are each wired for closeness. It retunes the message you're about to send so it lands, reads what's really going on underneath the one you got, and turns years of real conversation into an honest picture of how you two relate.

Take the free quiz Get the app
Free 4-minute quiz · no sign-up iMessage history read privately on your Mac
The Attune home screen: a message being tuned for Sarah, who leans anxious, with the Attune My Message button and recent tuned messages below
The idea

The same words land differently on different people.

To attune is to bring yourself into harmony with someone else. Attachment theory describes two ways people fall out of sync: one person activates—reaches, protests, floods—while the other deactivates—withdraws, goes quiet, needs space. Attune reads that dynamic and helps each of you say things the other can actually take in.

It isn't therapy, and it won't take a side to make you feel better. It's a steadier voice for the moment things get heated, grounded in attachment science and 40+ years of relationship research.

01

Kind, and honest with it

It talks to you the way a good friend does when they like you enough to be straight with you.

02

Built on real research

The guidance draws on attachment theory and decades of research into what keeps people close.

03

It holds both people

It won't just tell you you're right. It works to help each of you actually hear the other.

How it works

Know your wiring. Then use it in real moments.

1

Find your styles

A short attachment quiz reads how you handle closeness and distance—for you, and for your partner. You get a clear, blended result, not a one-word label.

2

Meet in the moment

Before you hit send, Attune rewrites the message for your partner's style. Got a reply that stung? Unpack surfaces what's likely underneath it.

3

Grow the pattern

Every exchange—and any real history you bring in, from a screenshot to your whole iMessage archive—rolls up into Patterns and a plan shaped around your two styles, so the hard conversations slowly get easier.

What's inside

Six tools, one steady voice.

Each one is tuned to your attachment style and theirs, so the guidance fits the actual two of you instead of sounding generic.

01

Attune

Recast what you want to say into what your partner's style can actually hear—softer, clearer, less likely to trigger a defense.

You never make time for us anymore.
↓ tuned for avoidant ↓
I've missed you this week—could we plan one evening that's just ours?
02

Unpack

Read the need underneath what they said. Paste a text, or drop a screenshot, and see the bid hiding inside the words.

It's fine. Do whatever you want.
Likely underneathA bid for reassurance, not permission. The "fine" is protest, not consent.
03

Sync

A 3–4 question check-in, delivered as a chat, that ends in a short, honest read—plus Connection and Repair meters that build a picture over time.

How close did you feel this week?
Maybe a 6.
CONNECTION
04

Chat

Open-ended guidance about your relationship and yourself. It stays in that lane, and points you to real help if a moment ever needs more than an app.

Why do I shut down when he raises his voice?
That's a deactivating response—your system reads volume as danger and protects you by going quiet. Let's look at what helps you stay present…
05

Patterns

Every tuned message, unpack, sync, and chat distills into bite-sized takeaways and next steps, with per-person trend lines across five research-backed patterns over time.

You lead with protest when anxious.3 messages this week softened a bid for closeness.
Try a repair opener."I got activated—can we try again?" lands well for his style.
06

Grow

The science of attachment and the Gottman method, plus a full course and a plan shaped around how your style meets your partner's.

You · Anxious × Them · Avoidant
pursue–withdraw cycleyour 4-week plan
Clear-eyed on purpose

People don't always say what they mean. Attune reads for that.

"It's fine" often isn't. "Yeah, soon" can be a soft no. Attune weighs what someone does against what they say, so an Unpack read will name avoidance or a lack of follow-through when it sees it, instead of handing you a comforting story that keeps you stuck.

It's just as straight with you about you. When you're spiraling or over-reaching, it points to your own pattern rather than cheering it on—and the rewrites it suggests never spin what you actually mean into something dishonest. It's on your side, which is exactly why it won't just flatter you.

Unpack · what's underneath
yeah we should totally hang soon!! miss youu 🥺
Warm words, no actual plan.Given how this has gone before, this reads as a friendly deflection more than a real yes. A reply that names a specific day will tell you more than the emojis do.
And a nudge for you.You've asked three times this week. It's worth letting this one land before you send the next.
See it in action

Straight from the app.

Real screens, not mockups—the same calm voice from the first tap.

Attune result screen: a rewritten message tuned for an avoidant partner, with an explanation of why this works
Attune—say it so they can hear it
Unpack result screen: what's likely underneath a partner's message, the tone underneath, and ways you could respond
Unpack—what's really going on
Sync screen: a quick chat check-in with yourself, asking what's most on your mind right now
Sync—a quick check with yourself
Chat screen: open-ended guidance about the anxious-avoidant dance and how to lower the pressure
Chat—talk it through
Patterns screen: what keeps showing up, with takeaways and Gottman pattern scores over time
Patterns—what keeps showing up
Grow screen: a personalized reading path through the attachment and Gottman library
Grow—understand the why
The iMessage import

Every relationship app starts from a blank box. Attune starts from your texts.

The conversation you two have been having for years is the most honest record of the relationship there is. Attune can actually read it—your real iMessage history, read locally on your Mac and handled with care.

iMessage history → relationship trends

Ten years of “it’s fine” and “love you,” turned into one honest trend line.

Open the Mac companion, pick your conversation, and it reads your Messages history locally, on your Mac. Whole months of conversation are then scored against more than forty years of relationship research: warmth vs. conflict, repair attempts, bids for connection, who reaches out and who goes quiet.

Then the read syncs to your iPhone through your account—the month-by-month trend, the arc of you two, your named patterns, and the words you each reach for most. It's the closest thing there is to a time-lapse of a relationship.

reads locallyread-onlysyncs to iPhone
And beyond iMessage

Spoken arguments and other apps count too.

Conversation Coach

Record a real conversation and Attune turns it into a deep report: wins and stumbles, Four Horsemen moments, repair attempts, and what to try next time. The audio is sent for secure, zero-retention transcription and never stored—only the transcript is analyzed, and live dictation is handled on your device.

Share a screenshot

Send a conversation screenshot from any app—Messages, WhatsApp, anywhere—straight into Attune from the share sheet. It sorts out who said what, then hands you an Unpack read; if there's a draft sitting in the input box, it tunes that before you send.

Four ways of loving

There's no broken style. Just different wiring.

Your attachment style is your built-in pattern for closeness under stress. Knowing yours—and your partner's—decodes an enormous amount of conflict. It's usually two blueprints colliding, not two bad people.

Find your style—free
Secure

Comfortable being close and being apart. Trusts, repairs easily, states needs directly.

Anxious

Reaches for closeness and reassurance. Highly attuned to a partner's shifts; can spiral in the silence.

Avoidant

Prizes independence. Deactivates under pressure and can read closeness as a demand.

Disorganized

Wants closeness and fears it at once. Pursues, then pulls back—two survival strategies at war.

More than one person

You don't talk to everyone the same way. Attune doesn't either.

Add everyone who matters—your partner, an ex you co-parent with, a best friend, a parent. Each one gets their own space, their own attachment read, and their own history. Switch between them and the whole app re-targets in a tap.

The more you use it, the more Attune learns how you actually sound with each person—your tone, your length, your emojis, your pet names—from the conversations you bring in, your iMessage history included. So a message tuned for your partner reads like you-and-them, and one tuned for your mom reads like you-and-her. The voice lives on the pairing, never a one-size-fits-all you.

Your people
Dev · partner · avoidant
active
Maya · best friend · secure
Dad · family · disorganized
Tuned to DevFewer words, more space, no exclamation points—the way you two actually text.
Not just for couples

For every close relationship.

Attachment shapes how we love, how we befriend, and how we sit at the family table. Attune works for partners of any gender, for friendships, and for the people you were born to—anywhere words land harder than you meant.

Partners

Theo & Marcus

A married couple; Marcus leans avoidant. Theo tunes the message before it turns into a fight.

You bailed on dinner with my parents again. Whatever, I'll just go alone.
↓ Attune · tuned for Marcus ↓
I was really looking forward to having you there tonight. Can we figure out what keeps getting in the way?
Friends

A prickly text from Maya

Best friends drift when a jab gets read as an attack. Unpack finds the bid underneath.

must be nice. some of us actually have to work weekends 🙃
Likely underneathNot really about your weekend—that's burnout, and a bid to feel seen. Reach for the feeling, not the jab.
Family

Answering Dad

The oldest patterns are the family ones. Attune keeps you out of the reflex fight.

why do you always criticize everything i do
↓ Attune · tuned for Dad ↓
When the first thing you mention is what I got wrong, it really lands. I'd love to hear the proud part too.
The Grow library

A whole relationship education, distilled.

The Attune Relationship Course distills attachment science and 40+ years of relationship research into 60-second lessons: how your style shapes the way you love, the Four Horsemen and their antidotes, softened start-ups, bids and repair, the wheel of consent, and a plan shaped around your exact pairing.

Explore Grow

The Four Horsemen →

Spot criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and the exact antidote to each.

The Five Patterns →

Fondness, turning toward, positive perspective, repair, and trust—what Attune tracks over time.

Growth journeys →

Short, guided paths for breaking anxious spirals, softening avoidance, or building secure habits.

The research behind it

Built on decades of research.

  • Attachment theory—the four-category model (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized) behind every tuned message.
  • The Gottman method—the Sound Relationship House, the Four Horsemen, bids, and repair, drawn from decades of research.
  • A companion, not a therapist. Attune never diagnoses, never takes a side, and points you to real help when a moment calls for it.
Yours, and private

Your data isn't for sale.

  • Your content isn't sold. Messages, screenshots, and recordings are used only to create your results—sent to vetted AI providers that don't train on them, and never stored on Attune's servers.
  • No ads. You pay for Attune, so it works for you—not for advertisers buying your attention.
  • Analytics you control. We measure how the app is used to improve it—never your messages or relationship content—and you can switch it off in Settings.
  • Delete anytime. Accounts just sync your own insights between your devices—and you can delete your account and all its data from the app whenever you want.
Simple, honest pricing

The quiz is free. The work is worth it.

Take your attachment quiz and see your results at no cost. Attune is a paid subscription from there—no ads, no data resale, and no fake "free trial" that bills you by surprise.

Monthly
$14.99 / mo

Full access, month to month. Cancel anytime.

  • Attune, Unpack, Sync & Chat
  • Patterns & the Grow library
  • iMessage history import, Conversation Coach, screenshots & the Mac companion
Best value
Annual
$89.99 / yr

Everything in monthly, at about half the price.

  • Everything in Monthly, at about half the price
  • Six months effectively free vs. paying monthly
  • Best for watching month-over-month trends shift
Start with the free quiz Download on the App Store

iPhone · iOS 17+ · Mac companion for iMessage insights

Questions

Good things to ask first.

No—and it won't pretend to be. Attune is a companion for the everyday moments between (or instead of) sessions: a wiser voice when you're drafting a hard text or trying to understand a reply. It's grounded in the same research many therapists use, and it will point you toward professional help when something calls for it.

Not at all. Attune works entirely from your side. You can assess your partner's likely style yourself (or run them through the quiz), and every tool helps you show up as a steadier, more attuned partner—which research calls "earned security," and it tends to be contagious.

They're used only to generate your result, and Attune doesn't store them on its servers. Text and screenshots you send to Attune, Unpack, or Chat—and voice recordings, which are sent for secure transcription and not kept—are processed by vetted AI providers that don't train on your data. The Mac companion reads your Messages history locally and read-only, sending only the text needed to score it. Attune has no advertising model and never sells your data. Full details are in our Privacy Policy.

You open the Attune companion app on your Mac and pick the conversation. It reads the Messages history that already lives on your Mac—locally and read-only, so nothing is changed on your device—and scores each month against the Gottman research: warmth vs. conflict, repairs, bids, who reaches out. Scoring is done by Attune's AI provider, which processes the text but doesn't train on it or keep it. The finished read then syncs to your iPhone through your account (or travels by AirDrop, if you'd rather skip accounts entirely). No Mac? You can still bring real conversations in as screenshots or voice recordings.

Attune is an iPhone app (iOS 17+), with an optional Mac companion that turns your iMessage history into relationship trends. An Android version isn't available yet.

The attachment quiz and your results are free. Beyond that, Attune is a straightforward paid subscription with no trial—we'd rather charge honestly than auto-bill you after a countdown. Monthly and annual plans are available in the App Store.

Start with one honest question: how are we, really?

Take the free attachment quiz and see where you and your partner meet.

Take the free quiz

Two nervous systems, learning to move in time.